It’s been a while since I’ve sat with pen to paper, but with good reason. My life seems to be self-propelling with me simply holding on for the ride.
For years now I’ve been attempting to walk into that space that feels authentic to me, I have been attempting to find the woman I was always meant to be, (but hid, even from myself). Fortunately, I’ve come to discover that years of struggles have actually allowed this woman to become much stronger and more powerful than was originally intended…or perhaps that was the Universe’s plan all along, (okay I’m getting way too deep and it hurting my brain).
Life has decided to put me to the test and show me, in rapid succession, who I actually am.
Guess what . It scares the shit out of me.
All these years I thought failure and inauthentic living was the scariest thing one can imagine but truth be told actually walking into my greatness and finding my authentic self has shaken me to the core.
This is why so few venture into the weighty territory of their true greatness.
It is one thing to conceptualize being intelligent, successful, authentic and having a platform to help shift the way people think but when the actual opportunities arise can I walk into the role?
Can I do it?
The very thing that keeps me authentic, allows me to connect, (my empathy and sensitivity) is the very thing that makes it so hard to walk through the eye of this needle of fear.
All too often we find leaders of industry, those at the helm of large business acting in a narcissistic, self-involved way. Have you ever thought about that? Why is that the case?
Are these people somehow smarter, wittier or better with business concepts?
I believe their ego is so large they don’t contemplate failure; they don’t concern themselves with judgement. The very thing that that makes so many of us beautiful is the very thing we allow to hold us back.
Here’s what I wasn’t prepared for, I wasn’t ready for what happens internally when everything actually starts to line up, when the plan works.
I need to actually be the person I’ve been wishing to be and not care what others think, not care if I fail the first few times. Not care if I lose or make money while trying, not care about outcomes.
I’m poised on the edge of great things, of a world I’ve wanted…and I have knots in my stomach every. single. day.
To all of you striving for greatness, remember that the hardest part actually starts as the success comes, this is where many get lost. I need to redefine all that I am, while ensuring all the parts of myself that I like remain untarnished.
Today I am strong, tonight I may be wrapped in fear.
But regardless I promise to get up and do it again and again, until I am all that I am meant to be….