What is it about progress that makes us so incredibly scared?
What mechanism is built into us that has us fighting ourselves when we are making big leaps towards something new, THE UNKNOWN? Okay, I get it, we used to live in caves and had to run from wild animals and hunt for food and bla bla bla…
This is a different time where our intelligence and awareness are vaster than they’ve ever been.. and yet
Yet I currently sit here immersed in FEAR.
Months ago I decided to start something new, a marketing perspective that is the true embodiment of who I am. It is very different for the world of real estate, it’s edgy, current and reflective of who I am. I’ve spent months planning every aspect and I’ve been doing it with great passion and excitement. I can visualize the entire year and how it will all translate. I can see the relay of the message I want, I’m even okay with getting some haters, (as it’s different) and am at peace with that.
Then the first proof comes….an innocuous email that should have me giddy with excitement.
The advertising proof is flawless, gorgeous in fact. So why do I want to VOMIT everywhere?
All of a sudden, ever fear of judgment, every bit of self-doubt comes crashing into my head. “What the hell are you doing, people aren’t going to get it, you’re gonna get haters, this is a waste of money, this is so BOLD..are you ready for this”?
Where did this little voice come from? I thought I had this shit in check?
I knew what I was doing, I was focused. What happened?
This moment; this moment is what TRULY DEFINES ME. This is where I use my years of culminated courage, (courage acquired through many years of tough choices and painful experiences).
Even though I CAN’T FEEL that it’s the right choice to proceed (my mind is literally screaming to cancel the advert, doing everything it can to convince me) I remember the months of excitement creating this campaign.
I have to force myself to go over the awards and accolades I have won, the leap in success I have had, to remind myself that I must know what I’m doing.
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT EXERCISE, THE CALMING OF MY SOUL AND QUIETING OF MY EGO.
Once I’m convinced enough to go near my computer again and take a peek I quickly check for spelling mistakes, literally hold my breath and reply with an “approved”.
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk what did I do? No, no it’s okay. I got this.
For the last 3 days I’ve been walking around a bundle of nerves and I will until January 7th, the day it’s unveiled and my campaign starts.
I will have to sit with this self-doubt until then and find a home for it. It’s refusing to go anywhere.
THIS IS THE PRACTISE OF PROGRESS.
We must give our fear a home but feed it as little as possible until it shrinks. It needs to be smaller than our sense of self. We will always have both, it’s the nature of human, but we get to choose which emotion we allow to grow.
Do not assume that because you are scared to do something it isn’t good for you, it’s the complete opposite. Great people are those that choose to hold their breath and do it anyway.
And the truth is, sometimes we will fail. We need to be honest with ourselves about that possibility. It will hurt and we will get just a little bit stronger because of it.
So if you see me over the next few weeks and I have that wild look in my eyes, that of a scared and cornered dog, just come give me a hug. I’m working through some stuff…..
What are you working through? What’s holding you back? I want to hear, I know I’m not alone.